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JOKES

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1

Why can not a bike stand on its own? It is two tired.

2

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

3

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

4

Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

5

Why did not the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!

6

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it Is more of a wrap.

7

What is the difference between your wife and your lover? 30 minutes.

8

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

9

y friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he is only got his shelf to blame.

10

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

11

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

12

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony was not much, but the reception was excellent!

13

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

14

I started a band called 999 Megabytes: we have not gotten a gig yet.

15

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

16

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

17

What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

18

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

19

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there is a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.

20

Boyfriend: ILY. Girlfriend: Can you please say the words? It makes it better. Boyfriend: I am leaving you.

1

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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