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JOKES

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1

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.

2

Why do not you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

3

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

4

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

5

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

6

What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

7

What is the difference between your wife and your lover? 30 minutes.

8

My girlfriend told me if I join one more comedy group on the Internet, she is going to leave me. I am really going to miss her.

9

Boyfriend: ILY. Girlfriend: Can you please say the words? It makes it better. Boyfriend: I am leaving you.

10

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

11

What is the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

12

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

13

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let us go play on our bikes.

14

Why can not a bike stand on its own? It is two tired.

15

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

16

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

17

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

18

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.

19

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized!

20

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.

1

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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