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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized!
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!.
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it is pretty cheesy.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.
Why do not you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.
PMS should just be called ovary-acting.
What do you call two fat people having a chat? -- A heavy discussion.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
y friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he is only got his shelf to blame.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
I married Miss Right. I just did not know her first name was Always.
testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..
eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!