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JOKES

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1

Learn sign language, it is very handy.

2

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.

3

Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.

4

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

5

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

6

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

7

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

8

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized!

9

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.

10

What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

11

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

12

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

13

Why do not you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

14

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.

15

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

16

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there is a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.

17

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it is pretty cheesy.

18

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony was not much, but the reception was excellent!

19

What is the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

20

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it is pretty cheesy.

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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