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JOKES

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1

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

2

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there is a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.

3

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

4

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

5

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

6

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

7

Why can not a bike stand on its own? It is two tired.

8

: Girlfriend: Darling, will you give me a ring on our wedding day? Boyfriend: Sure, what is your number?

9

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

10

Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.

11

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized!

12

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

13

What is the difference between your wife and your lover? 30 minutes.

14

What is the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

15

I have spent the last two years looking for my wife killer, but nobody will do it.

16

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

17

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

18

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let us go play on our bikes.

19

What do you call two fat people having a chat? -- A heavy discussion.

20

Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

1

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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