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JOKES

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1

Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.

2

Why do not you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

3

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

4

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

5

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

6

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

7

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it is pretty cheesy.

8

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

9

: Girlfriend: Darling, will you give me a ring on our wedding day? Boyfriend: Sure, what is your number?

10

What do you call two fat people having a chat? -- A heavy discussion.

11

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

12

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

13

y friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he is only got his shelf to blame.

14

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it Is more of a wrap.

15

Why can not a bike stand on its own? It is two tired.

16

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

17

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.

18

What is the difference between your wife and your lover? 30 minutes.

19

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

20

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

1

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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