JOKES Content

Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.

Why do not you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it is pretty cheesy.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

: Girlfriend: Darling, will you give me a ring on our wedding day? Boyfriend: Sure, what is your number?

What do you call two fat people having a chat? -- A heavy discussion.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

y friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he is only got his shelf to blame.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it Is more of a wrap.

Why can not a bike stand on its own? It is two tired.

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.

What is the difference between your wife and your lover? 30 minutes.

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!