JOKES Content

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony was not much, but the reception was excellent!

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

What is the difference between a wife and a mistress? A: About fifty pounds.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!

Boyfriend: ILY. Girlfriend: Can you please say the words? It makes it better. Boyfriend: I am leaving you.

What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there is a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.

PMS should just be called ovary-acting.

Why can not a bike stand on its own? It is two tired.

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!