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JOKES

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1

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.

2

What do you call two fat people having a chat? -- A heavy discussion.

3

PMS should just be called ovary-acting.

4

I started a band called 999 Megabytes: we have not gotten a gig yet.

5

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.

6

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

7

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

8

My girlfriend told me if I join one more comedy group on the Internet, she is going to leave me. I am really going to miss her.

9

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there is a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.

10

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.

11

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

12

Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

13

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony was not much, but the reception was excellent!

14

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

15

A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!

16

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.

17

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

18

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

19

What is the difference between a wife and a mistress? A: About fifty pounds.

20

: Girlfriend: Darling, will you give me a ring on our wedding day? Boyfriend: Sure, what is your number?

1

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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