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JOKES

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1

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

2

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

3

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

4

Learn sign language, it is very handy.

5

My girlfriend told me if I join one more comedy group on the Internet, she is going to leave me. I am really going to miss her.

6

Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.

7

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

8

Why do not you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

9

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

10

: Girlfriend: Darling, will you give me a ring on our wedding day? Boyfriend: Sure, what is your number?

11

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

12

PMS should just be called ovary-acting.

13

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

14

Why did not the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!

15

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

16

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it is pretty cheesy.

17

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.

18

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let us go play on our bikes.

19

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

20

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there is a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.

1

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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