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JOKES

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1

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony was not much, but the reception was excellent!

2

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.

3

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

4

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

5

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

6

What do you call two fat people having a chat? -- A heavy discussion.

7

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there is a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.

8

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.

9

Why can not a bike stand on its own? It is two tired.

10

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

11

Why did not the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!

12

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

13

My resume is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do.

14

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.

15

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

16

I started a band called 999 Megabytes: we have not gotten a gig yet.

17

What is the difference between your wife and your lover? 30 minutes.

18

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.

19

Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!

20

Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.

1

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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