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JOKES

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1

I have spent the last two years looking for my wife killer, but nobody will do it.

2

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

3

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!.

4

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

5

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

6

I married Miss Right. I just did not know her first name was Always.

7

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let us go play on our bikes.

8

What is the difference between your wife and your lover? 30 minutes.

9

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.

10

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

11

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks How do you drive this thing?

12

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

13

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.

14

Man: So what do you do for a living? Woman: I am a female impersonator.

15

What is the difference between a wife and a mistress? A: About fifty pounds.

16

y friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he is only got his shelf to blame.

17

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

18

Why do not you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

19

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.

20

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it is pretty cheesy.

1

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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