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JOKES

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1

Why can not a bike stand on its own? It is two tired.

2

What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

3

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized!

4

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.

5

What is the difference between your wife and your lover? 30 minutes.

6

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

7

: Girlfriend: Darling, will you give me a ring on our wedding day? Boyfriend: Sure, what is your number?

8

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it is pretty cheesy.

9

y friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he is only got his shelf to blame.

10

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there is a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.

11

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.

12

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

13

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.

14

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

15

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

16

The reason we nod off to sleep is so it looks like we are just emphatically agreeing with everything when were in a boring meeting.

17

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

18

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

19

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

20

What do you call two fat people having a chat? -- A heavy discussion.

1

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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