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JOKES

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1

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

2

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

3

What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there is a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.

4

What do you call two fat people having a chat? -- A heavy discussion.

5

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

6

y friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he is only got his shelf to blame.

7

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

8

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

9

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.

10

I have spent the last two years looking for my wife killer, but nobody will do it.

11

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

12

Why do not you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

13

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that is a big word for a nine year old.

14

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

15

My girlfriend told me if I join one more comedy group on the Internet, she is going to leave me. I am really going to miss her.

16

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

17

Why can not a bike stand on its own? It is two tired.

18

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

19

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

20

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let us go play on our bikes.

1

testing.. testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..testing..

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2

eturn: he listed himself as the head of the household!

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